


Schwingungen in der Brust

by centroid



Category: Amazingphil - Fandom, Danisnotonfire - Fandom, Phan, dan and phil
Genre: Gettingtogether, M/M, friendstolovers, panicattack, scared!dan, thundder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-16
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-14 23:13:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4583793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/centroid/pseuds/centroid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m- Dan tried to convince himself, but there's the thing with repetition-<br/>When you say something over and over again, it loses its meaning.<br/>Thunder made him feel like he was being yelled at, and as a common occurrence as he grew up- the fear stuck.<br/>Dan hated when people knew about his fear of thunder. It made him feel weak, vulnerable and young.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Schwingungen in der Brust

**Author's Note:**

> "feedback is better then crack"

It had been the day Phil was leaving for Florida with his family- the morning to be exact. Dan was used to the week alone. He never really functioned well, but he got through it- lost pounds, hungry headaches and all. This week was no different.  
But the last day was.  
~~~  
The week had progressed slowly, too slow for comfort. Dan had re-watched Death Note maybe 3 times, (he didn’t want to watch any new anime’s without Phil) each round he was yelling at the TV in frustration- the ending was amazingly shitty.  
He ate meals that gave him no nutrition or value at all, he stayed in maybe 3 places, the couch, his bed, and the toilet. Other than those designated spots, he never stayed anywhere long.  
There had been routine texts from Phil throughout each day- he couldn’t talk to Dan all day, no matter how much he secretly wanted to. He was there to see his family.  
Each night had a short phone call, an ‘I miss you’ pushed into the conversations by impulse.  
It had come to the last of Phil’s days in Florida, the older enjoying his time- even though (sadly) Dan was no where near him- he never checked his phone, nor made any move to contact his younger counterpart.  
~~~  
10 am (5 am florida)  
Dan knew something was off the moment he opened his eyes. He couldn't concentrate on the TV, his phone, anything. He couldn’t even force himself back to sleep. He knew something was wrong.  
He never thought to check the weather.  
~~~  
2 pm (9 am florida)  
It was approximately four hours later that the rain started. Dan’s shoulders were so close to his ears, the static (not from the TV) of the tension running through his marrow. He hated it.  
But he didn’t know what was wrong.  
Normally Dan liked rain. He liked the constant ‘thud’ and ‘pat’ that rain supplied, but tonight was different. The rain was too hard, the clouds too dark, and the air far too thick to be any peaceful time.  
And he felt fear in his gut.  
~~~  
7 pm london (2 pm florida)  
Phil was wondering why he never got a response back from Dan, he had tried to contact him about an hour ago, since he got wifi on his plane. he was just getting off the plane for a roll over.  
“Phil, isn’t it so warm here? Not as warm as Florida, hey- check how hot it really is, would you?” His mother asked on their way into the terminal, and Phil was happy to comply, taking out his phone and opening the weather app. (The airport had wifi)  
What he saw was not the humid weather forcast of his current location- but...  
‘It is currently stormy in London.’ His phone must have been deceiving him, it has to be fine.  
But it wasn’t.  
“Oh no… crap!” Phil fumed, scolding himself for not checking on Dan earlier. Quickly finding a phone booth, calling Dan’s phone, he was met by seven rings before his voicemail played.  
After calling four more times, the result was never wavering.  
“Phil, what’s wrong?” His mother asked, placing a caring hand on his shoulder.  
“It’s Dan- he’s afraid of t-thunder… there’s a storm in London-” Phil started pacing, “It’s bad, oh god he must be bad! No-ones there with him, mum what do I do?” There were tears in Phil’s eyes, fear inhabiting his blood, speeding its pace. Phil’s mind was slightly relieved when he remembered that Pj and Chris were both in London, calling the first one he saw in his contacts list on his phone- Chris, to enter into the phone booth. This time, when he punched the number, the recipient of his call answered.  
“Chris” Phil breathed, a sigh of relief and some comfort.  
“Phil? Aren’t you on holiday?” Chris asked, puzzled as to why he would be contacted by someone on a getaway.  
“Are you guys in London right now? Please tell me you are.” Phil breathed, his hands shaking under their hold.  
“Yeah, the rain is so heavy they cancelled our train. They didn’t cancel your plane though, by the time you get above London the storm will probably have cleared, wh-” Chris’ end of the line was cut out by Phil’s voice.  
“Is there any way you can get to our flat? Please, this is so important.” Phil rushed, not wanting any time to be wasted with explanations.  
“What? Phil- yeah we can get to your flat, but why?” Chris persisted.  
“Dan... he’s afraid of- fuck Chris, please. You’ll see when you get there, but please hurry, he shouldn't be alone..” Phil desperately reasoned, and Chris now realized the fear in Phil’s voice was not something to bant with.  
Once the call was over, Phil soon boarded his plane, too lost in his thoughts to register anything around him.  
~~~~~  
8 pm (3 pm florida, Phil’s second flight took off at 2:30.)  
When the first rumble sound resonated in Dan’s chest, he knew what it was. He wanted it to be something else, he needed it to be something else, but deep down in his gut he knew what it was.  
But Phil’s not here holy fuck how will I- Thunder ripped his thoughts out, silencing his mind without consent.  
A whimper was emitted into the flat, no one but its creator there to hear it.  
Dan tried calming his nerves, to breathe in and breathe out, but when he opened his eyes, there was his reserve, hanging in the middle of the room. Dan knew he couldn’t get through this thunderstorm easily.  
The air felt like it was filling its own lungs. When it took too deep a breath, it suffocated Dan, leaving him helpless in its occupation.  
~~~  
9 pm  
Phil didn’t leave Florida until- Dan looked at the clock. Scratch that, Phil wouldn't arrive here until 2 am. It was only 9 pm. Dan tore his eyes from the pixels, willing his mind to let time go by faster. He had been doing fine, he really had, until a click and crack made its way into Dan’s ears, through the hands covering them.  
It was only then that he realized he had eyes shut. The impact of fear forcing them open. Taking the covered darkness of his lids, to the newly damp black of the room around him.  
I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m- Dan tried to convince himself, but there's the thing with repetition-  
When you say something over and over again, it loses its meaning.  
Because he wasn’t okay. He was shaking, crying calling Phil’s name when Dan knew he wasn’t there. Rocking back and forth, whimpering for the thunder to stop calling his name. Dan knew it wanted to claim him, boast about its victory over Dan, and the electricity was against the brunette as well.  
“I need you, Phil.” He sobbed.  
~~~  
10 pm london (chris and pj took forever through the storm idk they butts)

Chris and Pj arrived at Dan and Phil’s flat, not having the slightest clue as what lie behind the doors.  
After several unanswered knocks, they decided to use their key Phil gave them, even if it did make them feel like they were invading the privacy of Phil’s panic.  
They made their way around the flat, using the torches on their phones to see. They opened the door to the lounge, and a whimper was accompanied. Turning their attention to the couch, they saw a disheveled Dan, hiccuping interrupting his quiet sobs, eyes shut tight and hands covering his ears.  
Right when the two men were about to go over to their feeble looking friend, a tremendous rumble of thunder shook everything in its wake, including Dan. A sob broke through the otherwise silent scene, and questions were answered. Thunder made him feel like he was being yelled at, and as a common occurrence as he grew up- the fear stuck.  
Dan hated when people knew about his fear of thunder. It made him feel weak, vulnerable and young. Phil was the only exception to his anger, the older never once treating him inferior for his fears. Dan was always hesitant about opening up to people, but Phil proved himself worthy- quickly too.  
“Dan..” Pj said quietly, but even the ease in his voice startled Dan, causing him to gasp- eyes opening almost as fast as the lightning outside, and head shooting up like a deer.  
At that exact moment,the first of three loud, consecutive bangs that each lasted around 20 seconds impacted Dan’s ears. That, and the shock of two people who he didn’t yet know (with fucking phone lights shining at him) the identities of, made the panic through his blood too much.  
Dan started hyperventilating. He immediately closed his eyes, trying to will the panic away. Scrunching up his face, Dan brought his hands up to his ears again as breathing began to take a toll. He heard voices around him- he wasn’t sure if they were real or his own mind's creations. They sounded oddly familiar, but Dan was too psyched out to care, he was trying to regulate his own breathing. Normally Phil was there to help him when he was panicking, but this- this was his worst nightmare. Thunder continued striking his ears, impacting his brain with overriding messages. Flashbacks were appearing before his closed eyelids, sometimes getting brighter from the lightning outside. His brain was unable to take everything in- not with the lack of air.  
Dan slowly slumped against the back of the couch, instantly halting Pj and Chris’ actions.  
Pj took out his phone while Chris tried to get Dan to wake up- to no avail. The combo of all his panic for hours and (oddly) he got up early, he was lacking sleep. He had probably stayed up till about 5 am the night before.  
'Dan was too freaked out, we just got here- he passed out.' Pj sent Phil, hoping he had wifi on the plane or something that could help him. A minute later, he got his reply.  
'lay him down whereever he is- don’t move him (he’ll freak out when he wakes. try and put hislegs up and be around him when he wakes. is th epower out?' Pj could tell from Phil’s text that he was worried for Dan, Phil normally took great care in being grammatically correct.  
'Yeah, power’s out.'  
'shit. make sure he can see you properly when he wakes up, he might be out for a while.'  
'Ok.'  
While Pj picked up Dan to lay him down, he noticed just how vulnerable the he looked. A normal rather wide framed guy, in his arms like a small boy. He was 6”3 for christ sakes, and he looked so feeble in his panicked sleep.  
~~~  
2:30 am  
Pj and Chris had already found candles and flashlights around the house, and had been talking about the probabilities that Dan and Phil were dating when the door slammed shut. (they ship it) (they also bet on it)  
Thumps of feet on stairs were heard, causing the two men to stand back, fully prepared for Phil to push them if they were in his way.  
The door was shoved open to reveal a very worried looking Phil Lester. Hair tossed back, the normal fringe now a quiff like style, a slight gleam of sweat over his forehead from running from place to place.  
“He’s right here.” Chris said, slightly pointing to the mass of body on the couch. “We kept trying to keep his feet elevated, but he’d just curl up.” He finished talking, looking at Phil to see a smile of adoration appear on his face.  
Walking over to Dan, Phil saw how the younger boy was in fact curled up. He had his arms wrapped around his chest, and the same to his knees. He looked relaxed, on his side-facing the room.  
“Thank you so much guys, having you here made me feel a lot better.” Phil sat at Dan’s feet on the couch, having one hand rest on Dan’s calf.  
“No problem Phil, we’re gonna go though, we don’t want to freak him out again.” Pj stated, tapping Chris’ arm to signal their leave. “The storm just let up a little while ago, so it won’t take us long to get back.” He finished as they gathered their belongings, said a final, quiet goodbye to Phil and a sleeping Dan- and left with a click of the door.  
The older of the two started running his fingers along Dan’s leg, trying to slowly wake him up. When that had no effect, he got to the floor and shuffled so he was kneeling right in front of Dan, and kissed his forehead after moving the hair. The younger stirred, so Phil lightly shook Dan’s arm. “Hey, I’m home Dan. Wake up.” He whispered into his ear, earning a shiver and a role from the sleeping form. After a couple more round of that, and Dan was groggily opening his eyes. Until he realized Phil was home.  
Dan unraveled his body, smiling as wide as he could (dimples and all) before launching himself at Phil, causing them to both fall back.  
Dan immediately koala-ed himself to Phil, wrapping every part of his body that he could, around the older male in front of him. “You have no idea how much I missed you.” Dan said through a smile as he snuggled his face into Phil’s chest. “There was thunder… I must have passed out. And there were lights flashing in my face. I heard people calling my name, it was weird.” Dan finished, looking up to see his friend (much to his disappointment, just friend.)  
Phil looked at Dan, gazing into the familiar eyes he saw everyday. But it was only now that he was seeing just how much he cared for Dan.  
“Hey Dan, you have something on your lip.” Phil said, smiling as he watched Dan use his sleeve like a napkin, then looking back up at Phil for the signal if he got it or not. Instead, Phil shook his head with a smile on his face, mumbled a small “I’ll get it.” and strained his neck the extra inch to softly brush his lips against Dan’s in a chaste kiss. Phil pulled back after a second, beaming in a rather childish smile, face scrunched up in happiness.  
“There wasn’t actually anything on my face, right?” Dan asked, sporting a tired smile on his face.  
“Nope.” Phil answered, leaning back fully parallel against the floor, wrapping his arms around Dan in a sweet manor.  
Dan closed his eyes, placing his head back onto Phil’s chest, listening to the vibrations of his breathing and the thumps of his heart. “Dork.” He breathed.  
“I could say the same.”  
“I meant it in an endearing kind of way.”  
“So did I.” Phil stated, letting his eyes drift closed with a smile still on his face.  
(Chris won the bet. Pj owes him money.)


End file.
